Single Dad Needs Nanny Page 14

  “You’re leaving. Just like she did.”

  “No, you’re pushing me away. I won’t stay where I’m not wanted. Life is too short. I’ll find someone who will love me back and I’ll be happy.” Continuing to pace, she wrapped both arms around herself, trying to hold in the pain. “That’s one lesson I learned from my mother. I was so worried about finding and protecting my own personal freedom I stayed away from her, for fear she’d steal some of it away from me. Instead I lost precious time with her I’ll never get back.”

  “Nikki.” He came around the couch, but she held up a hand to ward him off. He stopped. “How did I push you away? I’m here. I came home for lunch in the middle of the day to see you.”

  “Please.” She didn’t bother to keep the disdain from her voice. “If you wanted me to leave why didn’t you just talk to me, instead of calling my agency and putting my professional reputation at risk?”

  “I didn’t…” He hesitated.

  Nikki hugged herself, waiting for his explanation, for the big reveal.

  The silence ended with Mickey’s cries.

  She closed her eyes. That was it, then. She’d never know what had driven Trace to push her away. Oh, who was she kidding? She’d just laid out all the reasons.

  “You’d better get Mickey,” she told Trace. “I need to pack.” Walking around him, she let herself out of the house.

  Trace watched Nikki walk out of his life. A racking sadness overwhelmed him, rooting him to the spot. His chest felt hollow where his heart should be.

  Almost immediately the door opened and she reappeared. Hope soared.

  “I can’t do this now. I’ll come back for my things when you and Mickey aren’t here.” She moved to the front door, opened it. “Mickey’s been at the community center daycare several times. He knows some of the kids. He’ll be all right there until the agency can send over someone new.” She stared at Trace for a minute, her eyes as sad as he felt. Finally she shook her head. “Goodbye.”

  And then she was gone. Out of his life. Ready to be a memory. And he let her go, let her think he’d called for a replacement because he didn’t have the guts to let an intelligent, beautiful, loving woman into his small little life.

  The earth pitched and rolled off kilter, never to be righted again. Cold surrounded him. She’d taken all the warmth with her.

  She prized her freedom. The one thing he couldn’t give her. And he didn’t have anything better to offer. Best for her to go now than after he’d allowed her to become his whole world.

  He shook himself, heard Mickey’s cries, and thought he was already screwing up.

  Mickey’s tears dried up when he saw Trace. He jumped up and down and grinned. Trace lifted him, his heart melting when Mickey laid his head on his shoulder.

  Nikki had been right. Mickey’s love and trust were unconditional, a gift Trace had never expected and vowed to treasure. “It’s you and me now, kid.”

  He carried the baby into the living room and set him down next to the coffee table with a couple of plastic cars.

  “Neeki?” Mickey asked, looking around, as if he understood something was wrong.

  “Nikki bye-bye,” Trace told him.

  “Bye-bye work?” The kid wanted specifics.

  Trace wouldn’t lie to him. “No. Just bye-bye.”

  “No.” Mickey shook his head wildly. “Neeki!” He toddled around the coffee table, grabbed Trace’s hand and pulled. “Neeki.”

  Mickey wanted Trace to go after Nikki, to chase her down and bring her back. “You might actually have a chance with her. She loves you.” Trace had no doubt about her feelings for Mickey. “I could probably have parlayed her affection for you into something, but I couldn’t settle this time. Not this time.”

  “Daddy!” Mickey pulled on him. “Neeki.”

  “This is my fault not yours,” Trace told him. “She’s going to find someone who will love her…” The words trailed off as he replayed what she’d said in his head and realization dawned. The world slowly righted itself. “’I’ll find someone who will love me back.‘ She loves me.”

  He picked up Mickey, swung him around and planted a big kiss on his mouth. “She loves me. Let’s go bring her home.”

  Nikki brushed the wetness from her cheeks, angry with herself for the tears. She’d started the day with such hope, and now her heart ached, broken because she loved a man too damaged to risk being hurt again.

  Well, it was his loss. She’d have given him her love and devotion, traded her independence for a family. She’d have been the best thing that had ever happened to him.

  The vehicle in the next lane honked. She glanced over and saw it was Trace. For a moment joy swelled and filled her.

  He’d followed her.

  Then reality hit. He probably wanted her to honor her contract until a replacement could be found. She took pride in her reputation, but that was an assignment she couldn’t accept.

  Police lights flashed in her rearview mirror. He was pulling her over. She shook her head and pushed her foot down on the accelerator, defying his authority. He had no legitimate reason to stop her, and her battered heart couldn’t take anything more today.

  “Pull your vehicle to the side of the road and stop,” his disembodied voice demanded.

  “I don’t think so.” She continued to defy him, knowing it would end there. To pursue her any more blatantly would invite public notice and a rejection he wouldn’t invite.

  “Nikki, pull over now. I only called the agency to free you to accept the teaching job.”

  She blinked at his reflection in the rearview mirror. Determination stamped his features. He’d known about the offer? She saw heads turning in their direction as she passed the community center. Her hands tightened on the wheel as she turned on to Main.

  She was safe. No way he’d expose himself in the middle of town. It would take more than mere affection for him to take such a step.

  She deserved a man with the capacity to love as big as she did. Trace had proved he wasn’t that man.

  The Sheriff’s vehicle pulled onto the street behind her, and her heart began to pound faster even as she cautioned herself against reading too much into it.

  “Nikki Rhodes, I love you.” Not only did he declare himself, he ramped up the volume. “Please stop.”

  Her throat constricted with emotion, love for him bursting through her in joy and euphoria. He loved her.

  Wait. She breathed deep, forcing herself to slow down and to question if he’d really changed and could open himself to a loving relationship. But it was useless.

  Trace loved her!

  “Nikki.” His voice boomed again. “Please pull over so I can ask you to be my wife and Mickey’s mother.”

  “Yes,” she whispered, as people turned on both sides of the street to observe their small parade. “Yes, please.” Her hands shook as she pulled to the side of the road in front of What a Woman Wants. Women flowed from the shop to see what was going on.

  Ignoring the rest of the world, she pushed open her door, ran to the man who held her heart and flung herself into his arms. Trace caught her—as she’d known he would—and swung her around, his head buried against her.

  After a moment he lifted his eyes to meet hers. The love she saw shining in the emerald depths made her breath catch.

  “You just announced yourself in front of the entire town.”

  “I love you, and I don’t care who knows it.” The words reinforced the pledge in his gaze. “I couldn’t chance losing you.” He set her on her feet and kissed her, his mouth on hers in the sweetest of promises.

  “Neeki!” Mickey clapped his hands in the backseat of the SUV.

  They looked from the baby to each other. Trace brushed the hair behind her ear. “Marry me. Be the mother of my children. What do you say? Let’s give a dog a happy home?”

  “Yes,” she whispered for him alone, and then, loud enough for the world to hear, she repeated, “Yes!”

  Pulling his head
down to her, she kissed him, putting all her love into the embrace. Applause exploded around them, the perfect soundtrack for the perfect moment.

  Nurse, Nanny…

  Bride!

  Alison Roberts

  ALISON ROBERTS lives in Christchurch, New Zealand. She began her working career as a primary school teacher, but now juggles available working hours between writing and active duty as an ambulance officer. Throwing in a large dose of parenting, housework, gardening and petminding keeps life busy, and teenage daughter Becky is responsible for an increasing number of days spent on equestrian pursuits. Finding time for everything can be a challenge, but the rewards make the effort more than worthwhile.

  CHAPTER ONE

  SO THIS was what it felt like to faint.

  As if a plug had been pulled out of your brain and all the blood was disappearing in a rush to leave a curious buzzing sensation in its wake.

  Alice tried to move her feet but they were lead weights. Just as well she could still move her arm. Catching hold of the metal rail along the side of one of the few empty beds in this emergency department was her best chance of remaining upright.

  ‘Are you okay, Ally?’ The voice of the nurse lowering the rail on the other side of the bed seemed to be coming from a very long way away. ‘You’ve gone as white as a sheet.’

  ‘I…’ Alice was gripping the rail as if her life depended on it. The black spots interfering with her vision were starting to fade. Any second now and she would be able to take a second look. She must have been mistaken, surely? It couldn’t possibly really be Andrew Barrett standing on the other side of this department. He was a world away. In London. A world she’d been only too happy to leave behind in the end.

  ‘Sit!’ Strong hands were guiding Alice towards the chair beside the bed. The one the patient’s relatives usually sat on. ‘Sit down and put your head between your knees.’

  Alice resisted the pressure. ‘I’m okay, Jo.’

  She was. The buzzing was gone. Blood was reaching her brain again almost as fast as it had left, thanks to the increase in her heart rate. ‘I’m just a bit…’

  Shocked. Slapped by a reminder of a past she had worked very hard to escape from. It probably wasn’t even him. Just someone who looked a bit like him from the side. Tall and well built with slightly scruffy dark blond hair and the weathered skin of a man who loved to be outdoors. A figure familiar enough to push a lot of old buttons.

  Bright ones like desire.

  Much darker ones such as envy.

  ‘Exhausted?’ Jo supplied. ‘I’m not surprised. What time did you get back home last night?’

  ‘About eleven, I guess.’

  ‘And how long was the drive?’

  ‘More than ten hours. Mostly thanks to the radiator boiling with my old truck trying to pull a horse float over the pass.’

  ‘Oh, no! You poor thing. I’ll bet it took an hour or more to offload Ben and get things sorted when you got home, too. You probably haven’t had more than a few hours’ sleep and that’s on top of a week of having to sort your gran’s property and everything.’ Jo’s arm came around Alice in a swift hug. ‘Have you even had any breakfast, hon?’

  ‘No.’ In fact, it was hard to remember when she’d last had a proper meal. No wonder she’d nearly fainted. Or was imagining things. The swirl of disturbing emotions was still there. Making her stomach feel a shade queasy.

  ‘Go into the staff room right now and make yourself some toast. And hot chocolate. I’ll tidy up in here.’

  Again, Alice shook her head. The route to the staff room would mean having to brush past the two men who were peering at one of the wall-mounted X-ray screens on that side of the department. And maybe she hadn’t been imagining things. Maybe one of those men was someone she hadn’t expected and really didn’t want to see. Ever again. It would be too hard going down that particular road again. Negotiating painfully bumpy terrain that led absolutely nowhere.

  ‘I’m fine now, really.’ Alice smiled. She was. She could move again. She lowered the rail on the bed and tugged at the sheet that needed changing. ‘And it was worth all the hassle. I couldn’t have left Ben for more than a week when there was nobody to keep an eye on him and the beach rides more than made up for the stress of having to clean out Gran’s place. The last tenants made a hell of a mess. It’s no wonder it barely sold for enough to cover the mortgage.’

  ‘At least it’s settled.’ Jo was moving back to the other side of the bed as Alice rolled up the sheet and stuffed it into the linen bag. ‘Having to pay that on top of your rent for the last year’s been a killer, hasn’t it?’

  Alice nodded. There was nothing she could say. It had just been one of those things. It had to be done so she’d done it. The same way she had dealt with all the hard stuff that life had a habit of dumping her in. Head on. Standing tall. Fainting was definitely not an option. Alice took a deep breath and deliberately shifted her gaze. She was ready to get her bearings.

  ‘Who is that?’ she asked calmly. ‘Talking to Peter?’

  Jo glanced over her shoulder. When she turned back to Alice, her eyebrows were a little higher and a smile tugged at one corner of her mouth. ‘Andy Barrett. New consultant. Cute, huh?’

  Alice couldn’t say anything. Hopefully Jo wouldn’t interpret her stare as anything more than curiosity.

  ‘He’s English. Started work here the day after you left last week. We were all surprised. Turns out that Dave had health issues he didn’t want anyone to know about and finding his replacement had been kept well under wraps. Apparently we really scored getting this Dr Barrett. He’s been the head honcho at some big London hospital for years. Can’t remember which one. Hammersmith, maybe.’

  Alice couldn’t trust herself to open her mouth. If she did she might tell Jo that it hadn’t been Hammersmith. It had been the same hospital she had worked in herself for over a year.

  Until she’d been as good as fired.

  By one Dr Andrew Barrett.

  Jo didn’t know any of that story. No one here did and that was exactly the way Alice wanted it to be. No way was she getting pulled back anywhere near that black period of humiliation again. Not now. Apart from the death of her grandmother a year ago and the ten days leave she had just taken to sort out the eventual sale of the isolated cottage the only remaining member of her family had lived in, Alice’s life was finally on track again.

  She was still staring at the profile of the man who presented a new and very unwelcome threat. Both professional and personal.

  Why had he come all the way to the opposite side of the earth and picked the one place that was hers? It wasn’t as if New Zealand was that small. He could have picked one of the larger cities in the north island. Maybe they didn’t have as many ski fields or mountains to climb but they had plenty of water. He could have learned to sail. Or surf!

  Maybe Pam would know why. Contact with the only friend she had kept from her time in London was well overdue and if what she was seeking was the kind of gossip she deliberately avoided, so be it. Knowledge was power and Alice certainly needed a boost.

  Just making the decision to email Pam gave Alice the illusion of regaining some control. About to drag her gaze away from the new member of staff, she only just caught the movement as he raised his left hand to indicate something of interest on the image.

  Unaware of the frown on her face, she turned to help Jo smooth and tuck fresh linen onto the bed. The last time she had seen Andy Barrett he had been wearing a wedding ring. A tight band of gold that had successfully suffocated any stupid fantasies she might have nurtured.

  He wasn’t wearing it now.

  The case in Resus 1 was a trauma. A thirty-five-year-old woman who was well known to emergency department staff: one of their ‘frequent flyers’. Her boyfriend had gang affiliations and was only too ready to use his fists and his feet when something displeased him, but Janine had steadfastly refused to lay any complaints against him on earlier visits. Maybe this time would be
different, the triage nurse told the consultant. It was the worst punishment they’d ever seen her receive.

  Janine lay, oddly quiet, on the bed, her face now so swollen it was obviously painful for her to speak.

  ‘No!’ she managed in response to Andrew’s careful suggestion. ‘No police. I told you. I fell down the stairs.’

  Yeah…right. Stairs that had knuckles and heavy boots. The lacerations on her eyebrow and upper lip needed extensive suturing. A cheekbone was probably fractured and Andrew didn’t like the ugly purple bruises already appearing on her ribs as a nurse cut away her clothing.

  ‘Can you take a deep breath for me?’ Andrew was using both hands to examine her ribs as gently as he could.

  ‘Ahhh!’ It was the first indication Janine had given of her level of pain.

  ‘Pretty sore, isn’t it?’ Her breathing was adequate but unsurprisingly shallow. ‘What score would you give it on a scale of one to ten, Janine? Ten being the worst.’

  ‘I’m all right.’ Janine sounded as if she was holding her breath now. She had her eyes closed and beads of perspiration mingled with the blood on her forehead. She was a long way from being all right.

  ‘Anything else hurting that much?’

  A tear escaped puffy eyelids. ‘My…arm, I guess.’

  The sleeve of a ragged jersey was being peeled away and the deformity of Janine’s wrist and lower arm was obvious. Another fracture. Almost open. Andrew could see the bone just under the skin. Checking limb baselines like movement and sensation and perfusion seemed inadvisable until the fracture was secured. Even trying to wriggle her fingers might be enough to break the skin and risk infection. He turned to the nurse and lowered his voice.

  ‘She didn’t come in by ambulance, did she?’

  Jo shook her head. ‘Private car. She was left outside Reception to make her own way inside.’